Tech. support hotline!

Help desk: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one…

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my diskette out.
Help desk: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it’s really stuck.
Help desk: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note .
Customer: No… wait a minute… I hadn’t inserted it yet… it’s still on
my desk… Sorry… :-[

Help desk: Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

Help desk: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello… I can’t print.
Help desk: Would you click on start for me and…
Customer: Listen pal; don’t start getting technical on me! I’m not Bill
Gates damn it!

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time
I try, it says ‘Can’t find printer’. I’ve even lifted the printer and
placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can’t
find it…

Customer: I have problems printing in red…
Help desk: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah :-[ ………………. Thank you.

Help desk: What’s on your monitor now ma’am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Help desk: Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer.
Help desk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: Okay.
Help desk: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes.
Help desk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another
keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there’s another one here. Ah… that one works!

Help desk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital
letter, V as in Victor, and the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

A customer couldn’t get on the Internet:
Help desk: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Help desk: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

Help desk: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Help desk: That’s not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry… Internet Explorer.

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has put a screensaver on my
computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!

Help desk: How may I help you?
Customer: I’m writing my first e-mail.
Help desk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter ‘a’ in the address, but how do I get the
circle around it?