It's been some months since I wrote anything. Been busy with work and travel. Here's a new one:
Facts about Rajanikanth. The super hero of South Indian Cinema.
Rajanikanth makes onions cry
Rajanikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.
Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death
can process them.
Rajanikanth can build a snowman..... out of rain.
Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Rajanikanth can drown a fish.
When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on,.........
.... he turns the dark off.
When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards.
Rajanikanth can throw Brett Favre even further.
The last digit of pi is Rajanikanth. He is the end of all things.
Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
Bullets dodge Rajanikanth.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajanikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Rajanikanth' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.
If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Rajanikanth?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
Rajanikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Once a cobra bit Rajanikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
When Rajanikanth gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Rajanikanth can kill two stones with one bird.
Rajanikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
There is no such thing as global warming. Rajanikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Rajanikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Rajanikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life… unless it gets in his way.
It takes Rajanikanth 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Rajanikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajanikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajanikanth.
Rajanikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajanikanth only recognizes the element of surprise.
Rajanikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajanikanth is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
The square root of Rajanikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajanikanth, the result is death.
When you say "no one's perfect", Rajanikanth takes this as a personal insult
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Iqnore your limits?
I am back! It's been some months since I posted anything. Was really busy with work. Anyways here it goes. Found this somewhere on the net.
Researchers who have found that negative stereotypes about aging can actually shorten your life. A Yale University study last year in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people who have a positive perception of aging tend to live seven and a half years longer than those who don’t. The difference may be the result of a better response to stress or even just the will to live, according to the study.
Research has found that memory studies can intimidate elderly subjects into performing poorly. Older subjects score higher on memory tests if they aren’t explicitly told that the study is about memory and aging, according to a study by researchers at North Carolina State University in Raleigh.
We are swayed by our own expectations. The research, reported in the Journal of Gerontology, found that elderly subjects scored 20 to 30 percent worse on memory tests after reading a pessimistic newspaper account about aging and memory than those who read a cheerful article about growing older.
Researchers who have found that negative stereotypes about aging can actually shorten your life. A Yale University study last year in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people who have a positive perception of aging tend to live seven and a half years longer than those who don’t. The difference may be the result of a better response to stress or even just the will to live, according to the study.
Research has found that memory studies can intimidate elderly subjects into performing poorly. Older subjects score higher on memory tests if they aren’t explicitly told that the study is about memory and aging, according to a study by researchers at North Carolina State University in Raleigh.
We are swayed by our own expectations. The research, reported in the Journal of Gerontology, found that elderly subjects scored 20 to 30 percent worse on memory tests after reading a pessimistic newspaper account about aging and memory than those who read a cheerful article about growing older.
Monday, August 13, 2007
Now, this is wierd!
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.
Now it gets really weird.
Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
Now hang on to your seat.
Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln' made by 'Ford.'
Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
And here's the kicker...
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.
Now it gets really weird.
Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
Now hang on to your seat.
Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln' made by 'Ford.'
Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
And here's the kicker...
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.
Friday, August 10, 2007
Imagination!
Hello there!
Didn't blog for quite a few days now. Shows how busy I have been lately. Anyways, here it goes...
Every now and then I come up with a hypothesis that sounds correct and has the added benefit of being totally impossible to verify. That’s almost as good as knowledge.
My hypothesis for today is that a person’s need for social interaction is inversely related to the quality of his or her imagination. In other words, if you have an excellent imagination, you might enjoy people, but you’re equally happy to be alone with your thoughts for large stretches. To put it bluntly, you fascinate yourself.
A key part of my hypothesis is the assumption that people have widely different powers of imagination. This seems likely. People are all over the map for every other mental ability. Whatever is happening inside the mind of the person with the worst imagination on earth is clearly very different from what’s happening in the mind of the most creative.
Presumably, if you have no imagination whatsoever, you need to get all of your stimulation from the environment, mostly from other people, or at least TV shows about other people. You wouldn’t want to be alone with your thoughts for more than two minutes because your thoughts would bore the living piss out of you.
On the other end of the spectrum, if your imagination is extraordinary, interaction with other people will just get in the way of the incredible experiences you could otherwise be having entirely in your head.
Your question of the day: Do you have an unusually good imagination? If so, do you enjoy being alone more than most people?
Didn't blog for quite a few days now. Shows how busy I have been lately. Anyways, here it goes...
Every now and then I come up with a hypothesis that sounds correct and has the added benefit of being totally impossible to verify. That’s almost as good as knowledge.
My hypothesis for today is that a person’s need for social interaction is inversely related to the quality of his or her imagination. In other words, if you have an excellent imagination, you might enjoy people, but you’re equally happy to be alone with your thoughts for large stretches. To put it bluntly, you fascinate yourself.
A key part of my hypothesis is the assumption that people have widely different powers of imagination. This seems likely. People are all over the map for every other mental ability. Whatever is happening inside the mind of the person with the worst imagination on earth is clearly very different from what’s happening in the mind of the most creative.
Presumably, if you have no imagination whatsoever, you need to get all of your stimulation from the environment, mostly from other people, or at least TV shows about other people. You wouldn’t want to be alone with your thoughts for more than two minutes because your thoughts would bore the living piss out of you.
On the other end of the spectrum, if your imagination is extraordinary, interaction with other people will just get in the way of the incredible experiences you could otherwise be having entirely in your head.
Your question of the day: Do you have an unusually good imagination? If so, do you enjoy being alone more than most people?
Thursday, August 2, 2007
How true.. Sigh!
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. With the instructions at the entrance:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you may not go back down except to exit.
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Good Looking.
"Wow," she thinks, "I should find someone on this floor", but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-Dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the Sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor No. 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner has opened a shop across the street called "The Wife Store".
Floor 1 has wives that love sex.
Floor 2 has wives that love sex and have money.
The third through sixth floors have never been visited...
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you may not go back down except to exit.
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Good Looking.
"Wow," she thinks, "I should find someone on this floor", but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-Dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the Sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor No. 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner has opened a shop across the street called "The Wife Store".
Floor 1 has wives that love sex.
Floor 2 has wives that love sex and have money.
The third through sixth floors have never been visited...
Are children really to blame?
We read in the paper, we hear on the air,
Of killing and stealing and crime everywhere;
We sigh and we say, as we notice the trend:
“This young generation . . . where will it end?”
But can we be sure it’s their fault, alone?
Too much money to spend; too much idle time;
Too many movies of passion and crime;
Too many books not fit to be read;
Too much evil in what they hear said;
Too many kids encouraged to roam;
Too many parents who don’t stay at home.
Youth don’t make the movies;
They don’t write the books that paint
The pictures of gangsters and crooks.
They don’t make the liquor, they don’t run the bars,
And they don’t make the cars;
They don’t make the drugs that addle the brain:
It’s all done by older folks, greedy for gain.
In how many cases we find that it’s true . . .
The label, “Delinquency,” fits older folks, too.
Of killing and stealing and crime everywhere;
We sigh and we say, as we notice the trend:
“This young generation . . . where will it end?”
But can we be sure it’s their fault, alone?
Too much money to spend; too much idle time;
Too many movies of passion and crime;
Too many books not fit to be read;
Too much evil in what they hear said;
Too many kids encouraged to roam;
Too many parents who don’t stay at home.
Youth don’t make the movies;
They don’t write the books that paint
The pictures of gangsters and crooks.
They don’t make the liquor, they don’t run the bars,
And they don’t make the cars;
They don’t make the drugs that addle the brain:
It’s all done by older folks, greedy for gain.
In how many cases we find that it’s true . . .
The label, “Delinquency,” fits older folks, too.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
5 Surefire Ways to be More Unproductive
If you wanted to increase your productivity, you already blew it the moment you opened up your internet browser.
Clearly, there is something else that you ought to be doing. It’s just as clear that you have no intention of doing it. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here.
I know as well as you do that what you want are tips on how not to get things done.
Here are 5 tips on decreasing your productivity:
↓ Read a blog
You’re already doing this one, so it’s an easy choice. Just keep clicking through the recent posts or the archive. You could also follow some of the links to others that I have provided you, like Humor-Blogs.com. Whatever you do, stay on the internet.
↓ Sleep
Sleeping feels good. When you do it, you’re unconscious, so obviously you’re not being productive while you sleep.This one does come with a warning label, though. It’s possible that when you wake up you will fell invigorated, motivated, and energized. I suggest following this one with the next tip.
↓ Watch TV
Not only is watching TV unproductive, it has the added bonus of making you dumber. The more you watch, the less you do, and the dumber you get. Watching TV is a great way to avoid productivity.
↓ Get a job
There’s almost nothing more unproductive than having a job. You spend over half your waking hours being told what to do, when and where. During this time do you get to read a good book, spend quality time with friends and family, or fulfill your life’s purpose? Do you get to enjoy your hobbies, absorb the beauty of nature, or set your own schedule? If you do, you’re probably not a very good employee. There is one thing more unproductive, and that’s our next tip.
↓ Plunge into an addiction
Whether it’s pr0n, drugs, alcohol, gambling, or whatever, having a destructive addiction is the #1 way to be an unproductive person. When you’re drowning in debt, your wife has left you, you have no income, and you have sold out every bit of humanity you have left to get your next high, you won’t be accomplishing anything worthwhile at all. Congratulations! You’ve reached the pinnacle of unproductivity.
Good luck, and keep avoiding doing anything meaningful.
Clearly, there is something else that you ought to be doing. It’s just as clear that you have no intention of doing it. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here.
I know as well as you do that what you want are tips on how not to get things done.
Here are 5 tips on decreasing your productivity:
↓ Read a blog
You’re already doing this one, so it’s an easy choice. Just keep clicking through the recent posts or the archive. You could also follow some of the links to others that I have provided you, like Humor-Blogs.com. Whatever you do, stay on the internet.
↓ Sleep
Sleeping feels good. When you do it, you’re unconscious, so obviously you’re not being productive while you sleep.This one does come with a warning label, though. It’s possible that when you wake up you will fell invigorated, motivated, and energized. I suggest following this one with the next tip.
↓ Watch TV
Not only is watching TV unproductive, it has the added bonus of making you dumber. The more you watch, the less you do, and the dumber you get. Watching TV is a great way to avoid productivity.
↓ Get a job
There’s almost nothing more unproductive than having a job. You spend over half your waking hours being told what to do, when and where. During this time do you get to read a good book, spend quality time with friends and family, or fulfill your life’s purpose? Do you get to enjoy your hobbies, absorb the beauty of nature, or set your own schedule? If you do, you’re probably not a very good employee. There is one thing more unproductive, and that’s our next tip.
↓ Plunge into an addiction
Whether it’s pr0n, drugs, alcohol, gambling, or whatever, having a destructive addiction is the #1 way to be an unproductive person. When you’re drowning in debt, your wife has left you, you have no income, and you have sold out every bit of humanity you have left to get your next high, you won’t be accomplishing anything worthwhile at all. Congratulations! You’ve reached the pinnacle of unproductivity.
Good luck, and keep avoiding doing anything meaningful.
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