tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32345936790609329672011-04-21T11:52:20.065-07:00Asad Javed Ansarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11691385745061937242noreply@blogger.comBlogger281100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3234593679060932967.post-32582338940498211122008-04-02T03:25:00.000-07:002008-04-02T03:28:08.080-07:00

It's been some months since I wrote anything. Been busy with work and travel. Here's a new one:Facts about Rajanikanth. The super hero of South Indian Cinema.Rajanikanth makes onions cry Rajanikanth can delete the Recycle Bin. Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them. Rajanikanth can build a snowman..... out of rain. Rajanikanth can strangle you

Asad Javed Ansarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11691385745061937242noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3234593679060932967.post-83707118580314278022007-10-31T04:56:00.000-07:002007-10-31T05:00:38.668-07:00

I am back! It's been some months since I posted anything. Was really busy with work. Anyways here it goes. Found this somewhere on the net.Researchers who have found that negative stereotypes about aging can actually shorten your life. A Yale University study last year in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people who have a positive perception of aging tend to live seven

Asad Javed Ansarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11691385745061937242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3234593679060932967.post-60781040687068014612007-08-13T01:36:00.001-07:002007-08-13T01:36:39.255-07:00

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946. Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960. Both were particularly concerned with civil rights. Both wives lost their children while living in the White House. Both Presidents were shot on a Friday. Both Presidents were shot in the head. Now it gets

Asad Javed Ansarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11691385745061937242noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3234593679060932967.post-61575653307327398892007-08-10T14:36:00.000-07:002007-08-10T14:38:06.618-07:00

Hello there! Didn't blog for quite a few days now. Shows how busy I have been lately. Anyways, here it goes...Every now and then I come up with a hypothesis that sounds correct and has the added benefit of being totally impossible to verify. That’s almost as good as knowledge.My hypothesis for today is that a person’s need for social interaction is inversely related to the quality of his or her

Asad Javed Ansarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11691385745061937242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3234593679060932967.post-74878324726940362972007-08-02T03:49:00.000-07:002007-08-02T03:51:42.723-07:00

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. With the instructions at the entrance:You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you may not go back

Asad Javed Ansarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11691385745061937242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3234593679060932967.post-14190530073995750502007-08-02T03:44:00.000-07:002007-08-02T03:45:12.204-07:00

We read in the paper, we hear on the air,Of killing and stealing and crime everywhere;We sigh and we say, as we notice the trend:“This young generation . . . where will it end?”But can we be sure it’s their fault, alone?Too much money to spend; too much idle time;Too many movies of passion and crime;Too many books not fit to be read;Too much evil in what they hear said;Too many kids encouraged to

Asad Javed Ansarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11691385745061937242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3234593679060932967.post-50363481394297549692007-07-28T17:19:00.000-07:002007-07-28T17:20:59.407-07:00

If you wanted to increase your productivity, you already blew it the moment you opened up your internet browser. Clearly, there is something else that you ought to be doing. It’s just as clear that you have no intention of doing it. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here.I know as well as you do that what you want are tips on how not to get things done.Here are 5 tips on decreasing your productivity:↓

Asad Javed Ansarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11691385745061937242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3234593679060932967.post-22533323400812335232007-07-27T10:26:00.000-07:002007-07-27T10:27:12.775-07:00

# The more people use it the bigger it gets.# If you play with it too much you can go blind.# You wouldn't believe the things people put in there!# Some people think they know how to move around in it, but they really can't interface.# In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to receive information considered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the only

Asad Javed Ansarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11691385745061937242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3234593679060932967.post-74144467354156299242007-07-25T04:42:00.000-07:002007-07-25T04:49:36.270-07:00

People mock me for referring to my athletic footwear as “sneakers.” Apparently that is an old fashioned term. I am told the correct term is “tennis shoes” even if the athletic shoes in question are not designed for use on a tennis court. This seems wrong. If my athletic shoes allow me to “sneak” someplace without making noise, and are unsuitable for playing tennis, I say they should be called

Asad Javed Ansarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11691385745061937242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3234593679060932967.post-91476160322844892472007-07-23T05:02:00.000-07:002007-07-23T05:14:23.986-07:00

I saw in the news that Andre Agassi “inadvertently” whacked his wife, Steffi Graf, in the face with his racket during a fundraiser.http://sports.yahoo.com/ten/news?slug=ap-grafinjured&prov=ap&type=lgnsThe fundraiser was part of a new reality show produced by Oprah. The doctor who bid $70,000 to play tennis with Agassi and Graf also got to put the stitches in Graf’s lip. Hmmmm. . . Was this really

Asad Javed Ansarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11691385745061937242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3234593679060932967.post-51069950601496584942007-07-20T05:34:00.000-07:002007-07-20T05:35:56.096-07:00

Imagine you could make fuel out of poor people. The only downside is that the poor people have to be converted to a combustible liquid in the process. Imagine that although there are many alternatives to using poor people as fuel, those alternatives cost way more. In fact, the alternatives are so much more expensive, widespread use would impact your standard of living by about twenty

Asad Javed Ansarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11691385745061937242noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3234593679060932967.post-43324322954909952902007-07-18T03:21:00.001-07:002007-07-18T03:21:53.256-07:00

Have you heard of an online service for kids called Webkinz? It’s like a cross between cocaine and puppies. Kids can’t resist it. It’s frickin’ brilliant.Before you use the Webkinz service, you have to buy a stuffed animal that comes with a code. You use that code to activate an animated character in an online world that looks like your stuffed animal. The brilliant part is that your online

Asad Javed Ansarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11691385745061937242noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3234593679060932967.post-10490710780260150242007-07-17T11:09:00.000-07:002007-07-17T11:10:38.629-07:00

Flying DinosaursOnce upon a time there were dinosaurs. They died and decomposed and turned into oil. Millions of years later, humans turned that oil into plastic. Recently, plastic became the major building material for the new Boeing 787 Dreamliner. There’s your proof that dinosaurs can fly.http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19421415/This got me wondering if the 787 is a new form of life. After all, it

Asad Javed Ansarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11691385745061937242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3234593679060932967.post-88260060940861137052007-07-16T02:55:00.000-07:002007-07-16T02:56:53.585-07:00

In the news, a 7-foot-9 Mongolian herdsman (there’s only one of them) married a woman who is 5-foot-6.http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19727485/?GT1=10150This is the sort of story that raises all sorts of inappropriate questions. Not more questions than, say, the conjoined twins with two heads and one vagina, but lots of questions.You were all thinking it, so let me just say it. Does the tallest man

Asad Javed Ansarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11691385745061937242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3234593679060932967.post-3057434575586749952007-07-14T05:52:00.000-07:002007-07-14T05:53:28.609-07:00

If you’re a guy, you’ve probably heard way too many times a variation of this not-really-a-question: “Could you hold my purse?”As you know, there is no way to hold a purse in a manly fashion. After sixty seconds of transporting a designer bag full of Tampons and lipstick, your testosterone will be so low that you’ll be playing field hockey and lactating.You can try holding the purse in a manly,

Asad Javed Ansarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11691385745061937242noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3234593679060932967.post-20824832435943996112007-07-11T09:23:00.000-07:002007-07-11T09:26:38.258-07:00

Ok! The previous blog entry was a midday thought that I managed to put in words only during the end of the day. Here's the actual entry for the day...When I watch a movie, I enjoy it more if I can empathize with one of the characters. I imagine myself in his or her situation: solving a crime, falling in love, wearing a leotard while battling injustice, and whatnot. It’s hard to enjoy a movie if I

Asad Javed Ansarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11691385745061937242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3234593679060932967.post-16400331625788269622007-07-11T09:17:00.000-07:002007-07-11T09:19:03.409-07:00

Let’s say your spouse decides to cook you an extra special meal. It’s your favorite. It takes him/her a lot of work. You enjoy the meal and naturally offer to do the cleaning up by yourself.But here’s the kicker: Your spouse loves to cook, and you hate to clean up, especially after a long day and a big meal. As you wipe down the table and wash the extra-high pile of pots and pans from the

Asad Javed Ansarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11691385745061937242noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3234593679060932967.post-2625219144443118292007-07-05T09:13:00.000-07:002007-07-05T09:14:47.177-07:00

This one is perhaps one of the best I've ever come across:There are these two nude statues, man and woman, standing across from each other in a secluded park. A few hundred years after they’ve been put in place, an angel flutters down to them.A wave of his hand, and suddenly the statues have been given flesh, and they step down from their pedestals.The angel says, “I have been sent to grant the

Asad Javed Ansarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11691385745061937242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3234593679060932967.post-30227540639308635752007-07-05T03:25:00.000-07:002007-07-05T03:26:40.958-07:00

Help desk: What kind of computer do you have?Customer: A white one…Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my diskette out.Help desk: Have you tried pushing the button?Customer: Yes, sure, it’s really stuck.Help desk: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note .Customer: No… wait a minute… I hadn’t inserted it yet… it’s still onmy desk… Sorry… :-[Help desk: Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on to

Asad Javed Ansarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11691385745061937242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3234593679060932967.post-7861212308630344882007-07-04T09:28:00.001-07:002007-07-04T09:28:31.248-07:00

1) Deep obeservation in life - When I die, I want to die like my grandfather-who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.”2) Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: “Take two aspirin” and Keep away from children.”3) “My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the

Asad Javed Ansarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11691385745061937242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3234593679060932967.post-88909400222024127112007-06-30T03:58:00.000-07:002007-06-30T03:59:46.233-07:00

Here is a comprehensive list of what your email message goes through in order to get delivered: Virus Checks - The majority of virus (and worms) these days, travel around the internet by way of email messages. In order to protect valuable network systems from being attacked by a virus, most corporate networks and Internet Service Providers employ virus scanners that look for

Asad Javed Ansarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11691385745061937242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3234593679060932967.post-46769315765728390642007-06-29T03:38:00.000-07:002007-06-29T03:49:50.376-07:00

Some time ago, Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer lamented on the lack of acceptance and sales of Microsoft's latest flagship, Windows Vista. His current place of blame is Pirates!Ummm! Pirates? Ok, I'll play along. My current employer has an enterprise class license for the software and as such, I opted to install it on my work computer... big mistake! After 30 days, I was told to verify my copy of

Asad Javed Ansarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11691385745061937242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3234593679060932967.post-52430360625277959672007-06-28T08:17:00.000-07:002007-06-28T08:20:12.941-07:00

Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty she's free at last!After three weeks (about three years less than she should have stayed) in an L.A County Jail, Paris Hilton is finally free. I am sure that her preferential treatment in her cordoned off area had to be terrifiying what with being able to leave her makeup on, keep her tacky as hell hair extensions in and probably even hold her stupid

Asad Javed Ansarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11691385745061937242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3234593679060932967.post-88388072952123194482007-06-27T05:28:00.000-07:002007-06-27T05:38:19.885-07:00

They told me to back up my drive,Which has crashed—it’s no longer alive.Had I heeded their warning,I wouldn’t be mourningMy data, which didn’t survive.

Asad Javed Ansarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11691385745061937242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3234593679060932967.post-53409240044921236142007-06-25T02:37:00.000-07:002007-06-26T02:19:09.994-07:00

Personally, I have been working on Mac OS and Windows platforms simultaneously for the last 6-7 years. Recently, I've seen a lot of Apple marketing (outside the iTunes world) that advertises simplicity, elegance, and security (all features that basically result from making highly proprietary machines). Now, aside from overcharging, Apple has done a pretty good job at providing support for it's

Asad Javed Ansarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11691385745061937242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3234593679060932967.post-31012853702175540132007-06-23T05:05:00.000-07:002007-06-23T05:27:55.272-07:00

HiGot this new game "Need for Speed - Carbon" Been playing it all night this last weekend. Kind of hooked on to it. I have setup my PC with a new grafx card: NvidiaGEForce8800. Did cost me a bundle and made a gaping hole in my pocket that's still smoking... can play games in 3D now. Awesome grafx and brilliant performance. Never seen games look so good before!Anyways, got this new song based on

Asad Javed Ansarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11691385745061937242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3234593679060932967.post-25959639038115598842007-06-21T03:01:00.000-07:002007-06-21T03:04:45.709-07:00

Why do we sing “Rock a bye baby” to lull our little ones to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground? Why do we say we’re head over heels when we’re happy? Isn’t that the way we normally are? If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles? Could someone be addicted to counseling? If so, how would you treat them?

Asad Javed Ansarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11691385745061937242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3234593679060932967.post-86870295474416088922007-06-20T03:45:00.000-07:002007-06-20T03:50:15.317-07:00

Time was when [...] A computer was something on TV From a science fiction show of note A window was something you hated to clean And ram was the cousin of a goat. Meg was the name of my girlfriend And gig was a job for the nights Now they all mean different things And that really mega bytes. An application was for employment A program was a TV show A

Asad Javed Ansarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11691385745061937242noreply@blogger.com0